Back to School

It’s September, it’s raining and it’s the week when many start back at school.

The holidays are over and change is upon us.

I still get butterflies in my stomach with the change of routine - even more so when the changes include more than just returning into a new academic year.

One of the times we most need resilience is when we experience change. Of course, life changes all the time, often imperceptibly. One season slides into another. The evenings get darker and then lighter again. There is a chill in the air when we walk out of the house in the morning. The leaves on the trees start to change colour and then drop to the ground. At other times, we mark change more clearly, with anniversaries, birthdays or the start and end of term.

This year, in my family, we are about to start a new chapter as my daughter leaves home and starts her undergraduate studies. Since we began the round of university open days and applicant visit days, I’ve felt this change creeping closer.  Most of this year, I’ve felt incredibly sad that a season of our life is about to change.  We are a tight-knit family and we enjoy our time together.  Honestly, at times I have felt overwhelmed. At times I have felt peaceful. At other times, I have felt excited about the new adventures that lie ahead.

Earlier this summer, I gave a talk at our church about Psalm 52, which on the surface of things, might seem to have little connection with resilience and change.  However, whilst I was preparing the talk, I returned to the books by Peter Scazzaro about emotional maturity in which he writes about the place of grief and loss in our lives.  Every new beginning also marks an ending. Clearly, the changes in our family life, or of going back to school or starting school, are not the large scale loss that can come with ill health or death.  But it is grief all the same, and learning how to handle this is part of negotiating a resilient path through change.

I’d recommend you to work through Peter Scazzaro’s resources for yourself, but here are his useful suggestions:

(1) Acknowledge your emotions, rather than denying them.

For me, I find journaling, running and listening to music all help me to create spaces to express and process how I feel.

(2) Accept the disorientation of the ‘in between’ times.

For me, I find mindfulness, meditation help a great deal with accepting the uncertainty and frustration that comes with not having everything in place.  Keeping to some of my familiar routines in the midst of new patterns or adapting them can be helpful anchor points.

(3) Allow the change to birth something new

Those new things might include changes in our character, like greater empathy for those experiencing similar points of transition. It might include creating new routines and or starting new activities. It might even include creating some kinds of support for those navigating similar changes.

Here are some questions for reflection that help you increase resilience:

• What changes are you facing this month?
• What emotions does change provoke in you?
• What might help you manage the disorientation that goes hand-in-hand with a new beginning?
• What new things might emerge as you move forward into a new season?